Saosinin Anthony Green kertoo omasta taistelustaan pahaa heroiiniriippuvuutta vastaan

Kirjoittanut Arto Mäenpää - 7.4.2016

SaosinYhdysvaltalainen rockyhtye Saosin julkaisi uuden singlensä ”Racing Toward A Red Light” eilen musiikkivideon muodossa. Yhtyeen vokalisti Anthony Green on antanut kappaleeseen liittyen haastattelun Noiseylle, jossa on kertonut omasta taistelustaan heroiiniriippuvuutta vastaan. Anthony on haastattelussa paljastanut vetäneensä heroiinia juuri ennen nousuaan lavalle yhdessä Circa Surviven live DVD:ltä löytyvää keikkaa ja häpeävänsä suuresti keikan lopputulosta itsensä takia. Voit lukea Anthonyn ajatuksia ajoistaan heroiinin kanssa sekä ajoista ilman heroiinia tästä:

“Dude, you know how many fucking people there are out there that would do anything to have that feeling of performing their art that they feel passionately about in front of people? And sharing that? And you go ahead and you do it and you waste it, you can’t feel it, you’re not actually there for it. It’s disrespectful, in a way. And I was guilty of it for years. There’s a Circa Survive live DVD that I’m on heroin the whole time. I hated it. I didn’t want to put it out. The guys from Sumerian kind of convinced me that it would be good. Like, we weren’t going to get this deal unless I was willing to put this DVD out. And I had it re-pressed and re-cut a hundred times, but I’m ashamed of it. I was smoking heroin until ten seconds before I went on stage.”

Kysyttäessä Anthonylta miltä elämä ilman heroiinia tällä hetkellä tuntuu:

“It’s fucking great. I love it. I have issues once in a while. There’s definitely times. And it’s mostly the good times. Mostly the good times I find myself wishing I could have. And I don’t even really think about heroin as much as I think about, like, “Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to have a drink.” You know? “Wouldn’t it be sweet to have a fucking beer with everybody right now?” But I’m only three years clean, so I’m still very easily and swiftly reminded of how awful that shit was. I’m still close to it. The further and further you get away from it, the easier it is to forget about all the awful shit. Like when you break up with a girl, years later you don’t think about how she tried to stab you and how she wanted to take you from your friends and change you, you just think about how great it felt to sleep next to her. So I’m still really fresh with it. It gives me a disgust kind of a feeling in my stomach and in my head when I think about it.

But I like my life like this. It’s way better for me on all levels to be living like this as opposed to living as a functioning user. I’m way happier. But that being said, it’s something that on a daily basis I’m reminded of and I’m dealing with. And it’s not even that. I eat like a junkie. I try to eat healthy but then I splurge and I fucking go crazy and I can’t just have a cheeseburger, I have to have three cheeseburgers and french fries, two different milkshakes. It’s the same thing with sex. So, I love it. I love my life and I love being alive. I love being a father, I love being an artist. And it’s all stuff that really suffered when I was using. I sometimes get really angry at myself that I can’t function on moderation, that I can’t do this a little bit and not just get sucked back into a whole life. I get resentment with myself for it. But I quite prefer being sober.”